When I was a kid, I used to spend a good portion of the summer at my grandparents’ house in east Macon. In the cul-de-sac where they lived, was one of the neighborhood’s many ‘candy ladies’, except with a couple of distinct differences. My grandparents’ neighbor (let’s call him, Mr. P) was not a lady, and – in addition to candy – he also sold home-cooked hamburgers.

Unlike stuck-up little Eddie Murphy who shunned the ‘houseburger’, my playmates and I knew that Mickey D’s didn’t have nothing on Mr. P. Most times we’d already squandered our little-kid per diem on all kinds of junk, so we’d often have to just sit on the porch and fill ourselves with the smell of pan-fried beef emanating from the kitchen across the street. But occasionally, if a couple of us were able to scrape up a dollar around the time Mr. P started cooking - we felt like we’d won the lottery. Mr. P’s burgers were the best of the basic: you could get cheese or no-cheese, and he served each one wrapped in wax paper and stuffed in a small paper bag with plain white napkins. Simple, satisfying, and cheap.

Nowadays, the burger, like most simple classics, is being upgraded and grandiosed in some of the most ridiculous ways: foie gras, truffles, Wagyu beef and such, with prices ranging from $14 to over $100. Rubbish. For me, the KISS (a.k.a., Keep it simple, stupid) method still reigns supreme when it comes to a burger. And the one chain (at least here in the A) that seems to agree with me is Five Guys.

Their menu is a prime example of their adherence to simplicity: you can get a hamburger, cheeseburger, bacon burger or bacon cheeseburger in either ‘little’ (quarter-pound) or regular size. The fries come in regular or large, with optional Cajun seasoning. The restaurant itself has the kitschy retro charm of The Varsity, without the unwanted gastrointestinal side effects. And the food is served almost exactly like Mr. P’s. The hand-pressed burgers come wrapped in a piece of foil and the fresh cut fries are over-stuffed into a small Styrofoam cup. Both are tossed into a brown paper bag along with plain white napkins, which – as the tiny grease spots on the bag indicate – you’ll definitely need.

And if you must elevate your burger to elegant status, you can choose from as many additional toppings as you want, including some of my kitchen-burger favorites: fried onions, sautéed mushrooms, and A1 steak sauce. And get this, there’s no extra charge for the toppings…take that, Daniel Boulud!

Five Guys Burgers and Fries
Various locations
http://www.fiveguys.com